Tag: Overwhelm

10 Easy Ways to Purposefully Calm Overwhelm

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10 Easy Ways to Purposefully Calm Overwhelm

 10 Easy Ways to Purposefully Calm Overwhelm

We get overwhelmed when things become too much for us to handle, or when, subjectively, it feels that way.

When little stressors accumulate over time, or too many of them hit us all at once, it is natural to feel we cannot cope.

How overwhelm affects us.

Regardless of the causes, elevated stress levels or overwhelming feelings affect the body by releasing stress hormones like cortisol. The result is physiological changes, including a pounding heart, faster breathing, muscle tensing, and sweating. The body’s combined reactions to stressful events are called the fight, flight or freeze responses.

The normal cycle is for the body to recover after stress; at that point, it stops releasing stress hormones.

However, a constant release of cortisol with no recovery period after a triggering event takes a long-term toll on your body. If this persists over time, some expected outcomes are raised blood pressure, inflammation, and an increased predisposition for depression and anxiety.

When we have ADHD, it is all too easy to tip into feeling overwhelmed, as many of my coaching clients know first-hand. This is partly due to the large amounts of information we take in through our senses every second of the day. Without the ability to filter out and dismiss irrelevant or unhelpful sensory input, our brains will soon feel overloaded.

Overwhelm can also result from things coming in faster than we feel we have the resources to deal with. This perception can easily trip us up, as it is common for all human beings to underestimate our own resourcefulness and strengths. We can counteract this tendency by learning more about our strengths.

Our bodies hold the keys.

When we have ADHD, we are so often focused on our thoughts or on what’s next, we are largely oblivious to the signals our bodies send us about what’s happening below our necks.

Our bodies are a fantastic source of information we can tap into to understand how we navigate our environment.

A raised heart rate and faster breathing may signal a stress response, with the sympathetic nervous system dominant. In comparison, a slower heart rate and slower breathing give our brain feedback that the body is feeling relaxed. In this state, a branch of the autonomic nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system, becomes dominant.

For more on this subject, this article gives a clear explanation and breakdown of the various parts of the autonomic nervous system and how they connect to different areas of the body.

The parasympathetic system is also known as the rest and digest system.

When this is engaged, our breathing and heart rate are slower.

Techniques that work

You can use techniques that boost the parasympathetic nervous system to manage your stress responses. This is good for your brain and good for you, both short and long-term.

Activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System is a reliable way to reduce feelings of overwhelm.

When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, it produces a feeling of calm and relaxation in the mind and body. You can learn to activate your parasympathetic nervous system to immediately reduce stressful feelings. This will lift your mood, engage your immune system, and lower blood pressure.

There are many ways to strengthen and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, causing a relaxation response in your body.

10 easy techniques you can try for yourself:

  1. Bring awareness to your breathing, and try this breathing technique to slow down your breathing rate. Lying flat on your back comfortably, with one hand on your abdomen and the other on your heart, focus on lengthening the out-breath. Feel your belly rise and fall as you breathe in and then out. At the same time, send some gratitude to your heart area to thank it for keeping you alive.
  2. Feel compassion for yourself in your current situation.
  3. Spend time in nature.
  4. Get a massage.
  5. Stroke a pet.
  6. Focus on a soothing word like calm or peace.
  7. Practice yoga.
  8. Go for a slow walk and make a point of noticing your surroundings.
  9. Try something you find relaxing, like taking a bubble bath with music.
  10. Get a hug from someone you love.

Bonus way – Practice gratitude. Bringing to mind things that we can feel thankful for in our lives has a grounding and uplifting effect. 

When life becomes overwhelming, it is useful to bring to mind the people and resources that we already have around us. Having a selection of favourite ways to get calm to choose from can form a part of those resources.

  • You can use calm deliberately to relieve and prevent overwhelm.
  • Experiment with different approaches in various contexts and times to find the most effective for you.

The more you practice techniques like those above, the easier it becomes to switch to and activate your parasympathetic response and feel more relaxed.

What would it be like to spend more of your life feeling calm?

If you are feeling overwhelmed and would like to explore ways to get to a space of more calm in your life, please contact me here for a free discovery call.  I would love to hear from you.

 

Want to be More Productive at Work? Here’s Six Reasons to Take a Break.

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Want to be More Productive at Work? Here’s Six Reasons to Take a Break.

Woman celebrating nature

 

It might seem counterintuitive that going away from your work to take a break can actually make you more effective. In fact, an increase in productivity is just one of the benefits.

As neurodivergent people in the workplace, who love to get involved and give a lot of ourselves, we invariably end up with our time fully committed and perhaps with more than one role to contend with (think diversity leader, or mental health designated person, mother, father, child, team member, leader, etc) each with their consequent agendas to attend to throughout the course of just one day. We often have difficulty saying no to requests, and our divergent perspective on time can lead us down the path of getting overloaded and towards burnout.

I’ve seen it all too often; the clients who come to coaching overwhelmed and exhausted, on the verge of imminent collapse. They work from morning to night, spend long periods working evenings and weekends to “catch up” , yet no matter how many hours they put in, they haven’t reached that ideal place yet where they feel relaxed and in control – with a “mind like water” as David Allen describes, the well-known productivity guru and author of several great books on the subject of “Getting Things Done”.

Breaks help you rest

When I ask these clients , “So when did you last have a holiday? and by holiday I mean a time where you don’t monitor or answer emails, don’t respond to work-related communications, and definitely don’t log in to your devices to “catch – up!” “, typically the answer is many months and sometimes years in the past. Some of them have yet to use their Out of Office function on their emails. 

“And when did you last have some time to yourself to do something just for you that’s nothing to do with work?“ “Ermmm…”

It’s OK to be enthused by your work, it absolutely is. However, what I frequently hear is that although someone may be plugged in to their devices, their brain has gone elsewhere, and the time and effort they expend trying to accomplish tasks is not actually that productive. They get distracted, may spend time scrolling on their devices instead, and find it hard to sit and focus on that one piece of work they need to get done. Even when you don’t want to rest, your brain will find a way. Cat pictures, anyone?

Breaks replenish dopamine levels and raise productivity

When we have ADHD, we can have challenges with maintaining focus. It is possible to hyperfocus on something we are really interested in, however when we are tired and constantly bombarded with interruptions and more and more work coming in, it’s a lot harder to focus in any way. 

One method that has served many with ADHD well is the 15 – 20 minute rule.

What you do is to divide your work into handy chunks of no more than 15 – 20 minutes, set an alarm for the stop time and then dive in. The ADHD brain thrives on sprints rather than marathons. The very thought of working for a stretch of several hours without a break is off-putting for many of the clients I coach. Once your alarm goes off, that’s your cue to get up, stretch and move your body, and get useful brain chemicals flowing such as dopamine and Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor ( BDNF for short).

Dopamine is one of the neurotransmitters/hormones implicated in ADHD, where there is usually a deficiency of dopamine in the circuits which support the Executive Functions. Dopamine helps us feel alert, motivated and engaged. Thankfully there are many ways to increase it. Medication is one such approach. Other methods include diet, exercise or movement, listening to music, spending time outside in nature, meditation, massage.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22588-dopamine-deficiency

As you might notice, virtually none of these methods seem to involve being chained to a computer or working 24/7 for 365 days per year. Interesting hmm?

Breaks help us learn

Ways to increase Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) a neurotransmitter and hormone, include exercise, meditation, deep sleep, and sunlight. Things that block BDNF include stress, sugar, carbs, and social isolation.

https://www.optimallivingdynamics.com/blog/21-proven-ways-to-increase-your-brains-growth-hormone#:

BDNF is the brain’s growth hormone, and assists in learning, memory, and emotional regulation.

https://www.banutascifresko.com/health-101/all-the-facts-on-bdnf-brain-derived-neurotrophic-factor/?lang=en

Breaks give fresh perspective

Apart from a break giving us a change physically from being seated at our screens, from the torrent of emails, from being tethered to meetings, breaks also provide mental nourishment.

Time for processing and taking a step back allows us to gain a sense of perspective. In the same way that we gain new outlooks on life whenever we travel or go on holiday, we get a chance to look at ourselves, our daily routines and habits ( if we have any!) from a different viewpoint.

For many, not having those opportunities was one of the aspects of the lockdowns which had a huge impact on wellbeing. Being stuck at home, with only those daily exercise breaks to look forward to meant we couldn’t get away from our lives and see another viewpoint. There was no variety. There was no upcoming holiday to look forward to and that felt heavy. 

Planning future breaks to look forward to can fill us with positive anticipation, even when the present situation may be challenging.

Breaks provide us with self-care

Breaks also give us the certain knowledge that we are taking care of ourselves. Moving our bodies has a host of benefits including increasing learning, having a positive effect on our heart health, breathing and oxygen levels. Listen to this podcast episode from Dr. Michael Mosley to find out how taking micro breaks from sitting can help lower our blood sugar and even increase our life expectancy. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0011405

Breaks offer the chance to deepen relationships

Another benefit of breaks from working is the opportunity they give us to connect with others for personal not just work-related reasons.  Building and maintaining relationships takes time, and there are many ways we can help this along. 

Here are a few ideas:

Start a class in something that interests you, and you will meet like-minded people to relate to. 

Share a common interest with a friend and take a weekend workshop.

Call up a friend and go for a walk in nature together. 

See a film with friends or family and discuss it with them.

The benefits of taking breaks both big and small are many. They have the potential to support our brain health and productivity, maintain or boost physical and mental well-being, and deepen our relationships with others. 

So what are you waiting for? How many ways can you find to take a life-affirming break?

 

If you would be interested in working with a seasoned coach to enhance your own productivity, you can contact Coach Anna here to book an initial consultation.

It’s time to get strategic around Christmas

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It’s time to get strategic around Christmas.

If you’re a person who finds organization a challenge the rest of the year round, like many of us with ADHD, it may reassure you to know that you’re not alone in finding Christmas a mega-challenging time.

Christmas is a crazy-making time precisely because all the challenges come at once. That means all the strategies we need throughout the year are needed more than ever. You will need to bring out the strategies, tools, and techniques you have for managing yourself and your stuff to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Unless you want to start your Christmas preparations months before the merry day (and personally, I find that prospect extremely unappealing), all the preparations need to be done within a fairly short period over a few weeks. On top of all the other day-to-day stuff which still needs doing.

Just the kind of thing that we ADHDers find challenging. There’s so much to do and so much to remember. That’s because there is a lot to do in a short timescale. In some ways that can be a tremendous advantage for those with an ADHD brain. We are great at sprints so you can view a time-limited event like Christmas, just like a sprint or series of sprints. It’s only a few weeks away, and then it’s finished.

What kind of strategies are particularly useful at Christmas time?

  1. Simplify: 

 Instead of feeling bad because you haven’t time to personally send out 100 cards to all your friends, relations, and people you want to thank at the end of the year, why not take the pressure off yourself and send some of your greetings another way, which doesn’t involve doing it all at the same time? People will be glad to hear from you anytime; it doesn’t necessarily have to be done before Christmas day, does it?

2. Do what you can in advance to make life easier on the day:

I have spent nearly every Christmas Eve of my life hurriedly wrapping presents at the last minute, but not this year! This year I will be relaxing with my feet up, with my presents already wrapped and under the tree. I set myself the challenge of completing this just a bit at a time. As a result, on Christmas Eve, I will be able to focus on enjoying the company of others without this task hanging over me.

3. Ask others for help:

Attempting to do all of the Christmas preparations on your own can be a recipe for martyrdom and resentment, especially if you’re providing meals for people. You won’t get brownie points for feeling put upon!

For some reason, our ADHD brains think it is necessary to do everything ourselves, even if we nearly collapse with the effort. Delegating can help you by reaching out to others to see what part of the preparations they would be willing to take on and share. If you ask yourself, “What’s preventing me from asking for help?” you may come up with some interesting answers that could help you move forward.

You can feel calmer and more in control by using straightforward strategies such as these examples to reduce the overwhelm that comes from having so much to do in a short time.

Simplify – reduce the sheer number of Christmas things to do.

Do what you can in advance – by doing things in advance, you clear your path for a more effortless and enjoyable time on the day itself.

Ask for help – many hands make light work, and are you aware that people love to help?

Why not pick just one thing you will do differently this year to make Christmas less stressful and more enjoyable? After all, if you end up having a good time, it’s much more likely that others will too.

 

Maybe you’re a person with challenges in the organising department, and would like to explore that, or maybe you just need a supportive ear leading up to Christmas time to help you organise your thoughts and put them in order. You can contact Coach Anna here to explore your options in an initial conversation.

Too Many Commitments? Here’s How to Start Letting Go.

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Too Many Commitments? Here’s How to Start Letting Go.

Are you overloaded with obligations, tasks or activities that take up all your time and energy but don’t pay the bills or provide for your family? That was my situation some years ago.

At that time I yearned to build a new career for myself, yet I just could not see how to make it happen.

My life was already jam-packed.

I had a life full of activities that interested me. I was committed to all sorts of meetings, to my daughter & school, various groups, and volunteering. There were my art classes, which were a social occasion as well as for creating. I wanted to continue my part-time job, the upkeep of various websites I had taken on, and regular committee meetings that involved organizing exhibitions. I just could not see how to progress.

 My time and energy, and the sheer numbers of hours in the day and days in the week were all used up.

If I stayed the way I was, I was well and truly stuck.

How did this come about?

Some of it came from others making requests of me, some I believe was led by interest and wanting to be a part of something, to belong. Opportunities would come up in my life, and I would say YES, just because I was interested, and if the truth were known, a little flattered to have been asked. Equally, I think I needed to prove myself somehow – like I can take all this stuff on and do an excellent job of it. I did want to find ways to contribute and to feel I was helping others by doing so. Some commitments were led by a love of learning and gave me a sense of moving forwards in my personal development. I increased my knowledge and built what I considered valuable transferable skills.

Yet however fascinating these were, they were not going to bring me the level of satisfaction I believed I would gain from pursuing a potential new career. I needed to find or create time for this somehow.

Talking to a coach was my turning point.

It took speaking to a coach who asked me what I could do without, to realize that I had to take something away to begin the new and shiny thing I wanted in my life, which mattered so much to me.

What happened? At first, I resisted and fought against the idea of letting anything go. I desperately wanted there to be a magical way to have it all. But then she coached me to put everything down on a piece of paper, every single commitment I had, and just look at it.

“I understand you’re enjoying all of these, and also that you are gaining something from each of them. If there was one that you could do without, which would it be?” She asked me.

I began to see the bigger picture.

As I looked at those words on the page, I plainly saw the amount of time each commitment took up, and where each might take me. The muddy water seemed to be clearing, and a pattern began to appear.

I knew building a new life for myself would require pulling back from giving so much time to others, and using that time to re-train for a new, rewarding career. I could continue living overcommitted and underpaid, or I could start saying no to others in the short term, so I could say yes to myself longer term.

I started to make changes.

I began to find ways to discontinue the activities which took all my time and attention, one by one, honourably, and over a period. By gradually reducing my obligations, I created the space for something new. A new career beckoned on the horizon. I took the invitation, and to date, I haven’t looked back.

If you’re overwhelmed by too many commitments to others, here’s what to do:

  • Recognise that if you keep on saying YES to everything that comes along, you will reach a point when you cannot take on any more.
  • Determine what or who you can say NO to, so you can say YES to yourself.
  • Write down every commitment you have on one piece of paper, so you can see the big picture more clearly.
  • Begin by choosing just one commitment to let go of. Then as you build up your “letting go“ muscle, see if you can find other commitments that would benefit you by being brought to a conclusion.

Finally, allow yourself to let go of what isn’t going to serve you long-term and create the space for what’s really important to you now.

Anna Schlapp, AACC, ACC, is a certified ADHD coach who specialises in creative solutions to triumph over the hurdles of ADHD. Anna helps those with challenges like over-commitment and overwhelm to understand what’s holding them back, and then co-create personalised blueprints for leading more amazing lives. Read more of Anna’s strategies for empowered productivity on her blog. To find out how Anna’s unique system can help you maximise your potential, ask about a complimentary coaching session.