10 Easy Ways to Purposefully Calm Overwhelm

10 Easy Ways to Purposefully Calm Overwhelm

 10 Easy Ways to Purposefully Calm Overwhelm

We get overwhelmed when things become too much for us to handle, or when, subjectively, it feels that way.

When little stressors accumulate over time, or too many of them hit us all at once, it is natural to feel we cannot cope.

How overwhelm affects us.

Regardless of the causes, elevated stress levels or overwhelming feelings affect the body by releasing stress hormones like cortisol. The result is physiological changes, including a pounding heart, faster breathing, muscle tensing, and sweating. The body’s combined reactions to stressful events are called the fight, flight or freeze responses.

The normal cycle is for the body to recover after stress; at that point, it stops releasing stress hormones.

However, a constant release of cortisol with no recovery period after a triggering event takes a long-term toll on your body. If this persists over time, some expected outcomes are raised blood pressure, inflammation, and an increased predisposition for depression and anxiety.

When we have ADHD, it is all too easy to tip into feeling overwhelmed, as many of my coaching clients know first-hand. This is partly due to the large amounts of information we take in through our senses every second of the day. Without the ability to filter out and dismiss irrelevant or unhelpful sensory input, our brains will soon feel overloaded.

Overwhelm can also result from things coming in faster than we feel we have the resources to deal with. This perception can easily trip us up, as it is common for all human beings to underestimate our own resourcefulness and strengths. We can counteract this tendency by learning more about our strengths.

Our bodies hold the keys.

When we have ADHD, we are so often focused on our thoughts or on what’s next, we are largely oblivious to the signals our bodies send us about what’s happening below our necks.

Our bodies are a fantastic source of information we can tap into to understand how we navigate our environment.

A raised heart rate and faster breathing may signal a stress response, with the sympathetic nervous system dominant. In comparison, a slower heart rate and slower breathing give our brain feedback that the body is feeling relaxed. In this state, a branch of the autonomic nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system, becomes dominant.

For more on this subject, this article gives a clear explanation and breakdown of the various parts of the autonomic nervous system and how they connect to different areas of the body.

The parasympathetic system is also known as the rest and digest system.

When this is engaged, our breathing and heart rate are slower.

Techniques that work

You can use techniques that boost the parasympathetic nervous system to manage your stress responses. This is good for your brain and good for you, both short and long-term.

Activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System is a reliable way to reduce feelings of overwhelm.

When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, it produces a feeling of calm and relaxation in the mind and body. You can learn to activate your parasympathetic nervous system to immediately reduce stressful feelings. This will lift your mood, engage your immune system, and lower blood pressure.

There are many ways to strengthen and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, causing a relaxation response in your body.

10 easy techniques you can try for yourself:

  1. Bring awareness to your breathing, and try this breathing technique to slow down your breathing rate. Lying flat on your back comfortably, with one hand on your abdomen and the other on your heart, focus on lengthening the out-breath. Feel your belly rise and fall as you breathe in and then out. At the same time, send some gratitude to your heart area to thank it for keeping you alive.
  2. Feel compassion for yourself in your current situation.
  3. Spend time in nature.
  4. Get a massage.
  5. Stroke a pet.
  6. Focus on a soothing word like calm or peace.
  7. Practice yoga.
  8. Go for a slow walk and make a point of noticing your surroundings.
  9. Try something you find relaxing, like taking a bubble bath with music.
  10. Get a hug from someone you love.

Bonus way – Practice gratitude. Bringing to mind things that we can feel thankful for in our lives has a grounding and uplifting effect. 

When life becomes overwhelming, it is useful to bring to mind the people and resources that we already have around us. Having a selection of favourite ways to get calm to choose from can form a part of those resources.

  • You can use calm deliberately to relieve and prevent overwhelm.
  • Experiment with different approaches in various contexts and times to find the most effective for you.

The more you practice techniques like those above, the easier it becomes to switch to and activate your parasympathetic response and feel more relaxed.

What would it be like to spend more of your life feeling calm?

If you are feeling overwhelmed and would like to explore ways to get to a space of more calm in your life, please contact me here for a free discovery call.  I would love to hear from you.

 

Time Blindness in ADHD: Simple Strategies to Implement Straight Away.

Blindfolded woman in front of clockface to represent time blindness.

Time Blindness in ADHD: Simple Strategies to Implement Straight Away.

Time blindness is a very familiar phenomenon for my clients with ADHD, and it may be for you, too. Broadly speaking, time blindness is a difference in the perception and awareness of time passing.

It can affect people in various ways, for example:

A) being unable to estimate the time it may take to do a task,

B) having no sense of time passing while engaged in something,

C) struggling to sense future events coming up and act accordingly.

Let’s look at the above three aspects of time perception and consider some possible strategies for each of them in turn.

A. Difficulty in estimating time accurately.

This difficulty can take the form of both under and over-estimating the time it takes to complete something.

Time underestimation.

The result of underestimating time can often have dire consequences in the workplace.

For example, when we believe that each job will take less time than it actually does, projects and assignments start to build up as we find they take longer, thereby pushing other tasks further into the future. At some point, the accumulated backlog of tasks becomes overwhelming, and we feel we cannot cope at work.

Another example would be a person who needs to leave the house by a particular time and reckons it won’t take them long to get ready. However, in reality, they are inevitably late leaving the house every day.

I have worked through this challenge with various clients over the years, and usually, the primary reason comes down to underestimating time in some way or another. Once we have established this, it’s relatively straightforward to work through each part of getting ready and develop a more realistic estimate to enable them to leave the house in time. For more on that topic, go here

Time overestimation.

Overestimating time is often associated with some of the less pleasant activities or those tasks which don’t hold so much interest for us. This can stop us dead in our tracks, as really, who’d want to start washing up believing it’s going to take 45 minutes or start writing an email, suspecting it will take at least half an hour – maybe more?

Strategies for time estimation

So, what’s the solution for these internal time warps?

Well, one of the most effective ways is actually to time yourself to begin with. YES, with a stopwatch if necessary. This enables you to accurately identify how long something takes to complete.

I have created a simple tool you can use to help you do this. It’s called the Time Estimation Tool, or TET for short, and you can download your copy here.

        The TET enables you to keep testing out your “guesstimates” and then adjusting your techniques based on the real-life results you get. Mostly, when people have done this exercise, they are surprised to discover the actual amount of time things take. With practice, and applying it to various different life situations, this can revolutionise people’s time management skills in all kinds of positive ways.

TIP: Using clocks and watches, various timepieces and reminders and alarms on our phones or smart watches can help familiarise us with common time periods in our individual circumstances.

Find out what works for you, either audio or visual ways of seeing the passage of time or a combination, until you know for sure how long these things take you.

The effect of having small chunks of certainty in an often windswept existence is strangely comforting and provides a firm foundation to build on.

B) Having little sense of time passing when we are engaged in something.

It is hard enough to get going on something and feel we can sustain focus on something without interrupting ourselves to look at the clock. That is what many of my coaching clients have told me over the years. We are usually talking about hyperfocus

For those not in the know – you could liken hyperfocus to very heavy sleep where nothing gets through; even a loud bang next door or a car alarm going off is not enough to wake you. On the other hand, the kind of sustained focus with awareness is more like a light sleeper, one who is sleeping, but noises like thunder or a ring on the doorbell would waken them sufficiently to notice what’s happening around them.

One is so intensely focused on the matter at hand that there is no awareness of anything else. The other is still focused, yet with the possibility of dipping in and out of focus on the task to notice, for instance, hunger, noises, other people, and, of course, what time it is, as well as the significance of that information.

Strategies for noticing time passing while engrossed in something.

  1. Again, you can use anything that gets your attention, like a noise, a timer, or a message; some people even ask someone to come and tell them it’s time to eat, stop, or whatever else needs to be done.
  2. Another effective strategy is to set yourself up with an intention beforehand. For example, I will work for 20 minutes on X, then stand up and walk to fetch water and stretch for 5 minutes.

In this way, you are priming yourself to bear time in mind when you first set out to do something.

3. You can also make a pact to check in with yourself at intervals throughout the day, say mid-morning, lunchtime, mid-afternoon, and (at a time which can be particularly tricky for many with ADHD) at the close of the working day. Yes, you may well need a check-in at 5 pm to tell you to wrap up and literally get ready to go home. Many people overwork and extend their working hours more by accident than design, simply due to not noticing time going by.

      You can build this up in small increments until you have more awareness of time passing throughout the day.

C) Not sensing future events coming up and acting accordingly.

Time blindness results in perceiving events as literally less “real” the further away they are in the future. This lack of awareness of the distance of future dates and events causes ADHD-ers to be chronically underprepared when the time inevitably does come. Life will be full of unpleasant surprises as a result, leaving you feeling demoralised and often at a disadvantage.

Examples:

  • Lack of awareness of how close or far away events are in time leads to leaving things to the last minute – e.g.  Not realising the due date for a bill until you get a final notice or a court summons.

         Not seeing your holiday dates coming up might lead to you not packing the suitcase until the last minute or realising your passport is out of date when it’s too late to do anything about it.

  • Another common circumstance of time blindness comes when preparing for well-known future events – knowing there is a deadline for handing in a piece of work, for example, but being very hazy about when that is. In coaching sessions, many people have told me,” Oh, it’s in a couple of months, I think.” When I asked them the exact date to put in their calendar or planner, they had to go and look it up and were, in many cases, surprised to find it was rather sooner than they thought.

Once these clients firm up their knowledge around due dates and record them where they can easily refer to them, they find it much easier to make a realistic plan to get the work done in time.

  • Not doing things for our future selves is another result of time blindness. Often, because of impulsivity added to time blindness, we enjoy ourselves so much in the moment that we forget the needs of our future self. This can lead to burnout, energy crashes, or just plain overwhelm, as our self-care needs continually get put on the back burner.

Strategies for dealing effectively with future events.

  1. Make time visual and external to your brain whenever you can, using calendars, wall charts, and diaries. If you are OK with checking digital devices, then use those too.
  2. Identify precise dates and times when events are happening to be sure to set reminders and timers for them. You may want to remind yourself a few times they are coming up soon, as well.
  3. Practise asking yourself, “What would future me thank me for doing right now?” That extra glass of water, healthy option, or money in the bank can very likely help “future you” maintain your equilibrium.

Fortunately, there are many strategies that you can employ to combat time blindness.

  • Using methods which make time more “real” for you,
  • Experimenting to find out which of them works for you, and
  • Implementing one or more of the above strategies, you will be able to bring more awareness and skilfulness into your dealings with this elusive construct we call time, and live your life more smoothly and enjoyably as a result.

Anna Schlapp B.A., ACC, ACCG, is a certified ADHD coach, coaching people to understand and manage their unique time perception more productively. If you would like to explore this or any other of your ADHD traits with a highly experienced coach of more than ten years, you can contact Coach Anna here.

 

ADHD and Sleep Part 2: Why You’re Not Getting Enough Sleep

ADHD and Sleep Part 2: Why You’re Not Getting Enough Sleep and What to Do About It.

 

The Link Between ADHD and Sleep Issues

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD ) is commonly associated with sleep disturbances. It’s important to know that you’re not alone. It is believed some 50 – 75% of all adults with ADHD report some problems with sleeping. These can include difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, and not feeling rested upon waking. Understanding the unique challenges faced by individuals with ADHD can shed light on why sleep issues are prevalent and what you can do to address them.

Why You’re Not Getting Enough Sleep

If you’re not asleep, you’re likely either awake doing something or tossing and turning as you try in vain to switch off your overactive brain. Here are some common reasons why you might be awake past bedtime:

Pre-Sleep Activities

  • Staying Active Until Bedtime: Engaging in stimulating activities right before bed can make it hard for your brain to wind down.
  • Night-Time Productivity: Many with ADHD find night-time peaceful and conducive for concentrated work, often leading to late nights.
  • Technology Use: Phones and computers emit blue light that keeps the brain alert – thus making rest difficult.
  • Evening Entertainment: Watching TV or films, especially if you have a TV in your bedroom, can delay sleep.
  • Socializing: Conversations and social activities can push back your bedtime.
  • Working Late: Meeting deadlines or finishing tasks can lead to staying up late, which cuts into sleep time and keeps your mind active.

Mental and Physical Factors

  • Worry and Rumination: Those with ADHD often experience worry and rumination, making it hard to fall asleep.
  • Physical Restlessness: A lack of daytime movement can contribute to restlessness at night, so finding the right amount of daily exercise is crucial.
  • Processing Time: There’s a theory that ADHD brains need more time to process daily events, which can extend into late-night hours.

What Hampers Sleep

Several factors in your environment and habits can hinder sleep:

  • Bright Lights: Excessive light in your sleep environment can prevent you from falling asleep.
  • Room Temperature: A too-warm room can be uncomfortable.
  • Technology in the Bedroom: TVs, computers, phones, and tablets can disrupt sleep.
  • Clutter: A cluttered room can create a sense of chaos, making it hard to relax.

Strategies for Better Sleep

To improve sleep quality, focus on your pre-sleep routine and sleep environment:

Pre-Sleep Routine

  • Reduce Caffeine Intake: Avoid caffeine several hours before bedtime.
  • Wind Down: Spend at least one hour before sleep relaxing.
  • Limit Alcohol: Avoid excessive alcohol consumption before bed.
  • Stop Eating Early: Finish eating at least 1.5 hours before bedtime.
  • Exercise Timing: Exercise no later than 2-3 hours before bed.

Sleep Environment

  • Remove or Modify Technology: Use screen filters for warm light and switch devices to Airplane mode.
  • Cool Down: Keep your bedroom at a lower temperature than the rooms you were in before.
  • Warm Shower: Take a warm shower before bed to cool your body core.
  • Dedicated Sleep Space: Use your bedroom only for sleeping or napping.
  • Consistent Routine: Go to bed and wake up as near as possible to the same time every day.
  • Background Noise: Use quiet music or white noise to help lull you to sleep.

Building Better Sleep Habits

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Improving sleep habits takes time and patience. Start with one or two changes, such as adjusting your pre-sleep routine or modifying your sleep environment. Even little adjustments can significantly improve your sleep quality, giving you more energy and focus during the day.

By understanding the challenges and making mindful changes, you will enjoy the benefits of better-quality sleep and improved overall well-being.

It’s time to get strategic around Christmas

It’s time to get strategic around Christmas.

If you’re a person who finds organization a challenge the rest of the year round, like many of us with ADHD, it may reassure you to know that you’re not alone in finding Christmas a mega-challenging time.

Christmas is a crazy-making time precisely because all the challenges come at once. That means all the strategies we need throughout the year are needed more than ever. You will need to bring out the strategies, tools, and techniques you have for managing yourself and your stuff to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Unless you want to start your Christmas preparations months before the merry day (and personally, I find that prospect extremely unappealing), all the preparations need to be done within a fairly short period over a few weeks. On top of all the other day-to-day stuff which still needs doing.

Just the kind of thing that we ADHDers find challenging. There’s so much to do and so much to remember. That’s because there is a lot to do in a short timescale. In some ways that can be a tremendous advantage for those with an ADHD brain. We are great at sprints so you can view a time-limited event like Christmas, just like a sprint or series of sprints. It’s only a few weeks away, and then it’s finished.

What kind of strategies are particularly useful at Christmas time?

  1. Simplify: 

 Instead of feeling bad because you haven’t time to personally send out 100 cards to all your friends, relations, and people you want to thank at the end of the year, why not take the pressure off yourself and send some of your greetings another way, which doesn’t involve doing it all at the same time? People will be glad to hear from you anytime; it doesn’t necessarily have to be done before Christmas day, does it?

2. Do what you can in advance to make life easier on the day:

I have spent nearly every Christmas Eve of my life hurriedly wrapping presents at the last minute, but not this year! This year I will be relaxing with my feet up, with my presents already wrapped and under the tree. I set myself the challenge of completing this just a bit at a time. As a result, on Christmas Eve, I will be able to focus on enjoying the company of others without this task hanging over me.

3. Ask others for help:

Attempting to do all of the Christmas preparations on your own can be a recipe for martyrdom and resentment, especially if you’re providing meals for people. You won’t get brownie points for feeling put upon!

For some reason, our ADHD brains think it is necessary to do everything ourselves, even if we nearly collapse with the effort. Delegating can help you by reaching out to others to see what part of the preparations they would be willing to take on and share. If you ask yourself, “What’s preventing me from asking for help?” you may come up with some interesting answers that could help you move forward.

You can feel calmer and more in control by using straightforward strategies such as these examples to reduce the overwhelm that comes from having so much to do in a short time.

Simplify – reduce the sheer number of Christmas things to do.

Do what you can in advance – by doing things in advance, you clear your path for a more effortless and enjoyable time on the day itself.

Ask for help – many hands make light work, and are you aware that people love to help?

Why not pick just one thing you will do differently this year to make Christmas less stressful and more enjoyable? After all, if you end up having a good time, it’s much more likely that others will too.

 

Maybe you’re a person with challenges in the organising department, and would like to explore that, or maybe you just need a supportive ear leading up to Christmas time to help you organise your thoughts and put them in order. You can contact Coach Anna here to explore your options in an initial conversation.